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The Confession Booth
http://www.ozdat.com.au/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4069		 Page 4 of 21
Author:  GTR510 [ Wed Jan 12, 2005 10:45 pm ]
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Needed a new diff in my FJ20T 16 and thought let's try a locker. Anyway take to a so-called friend (AKA total phuckwit) who happens to be a welder by trade and he says sure I'll weld up your centre. He proceeds to spend the better part of 45mins stuffing around with little plates and plenty of weld.

Get it home, put it in, back out of the driveway, enage first gear, slowly release clutch and bang. Blew up completely. Now there's a day of my life I won't be getting back.

Anyway the best bit is my drive is very short, but hideously steep and u cannot even winch a car up it. We also leave on a steep hill so the next diff (untouched by aforementioned tosser) had to be put in with the car sideways on a steep hill.

Just remember boy safety first, Those words of wisdom from my old bloke were ringing in my ear and the car swayed and moved on the jack stands while the third diff was replaced. I'll keep thinking there's got to be more.
Author:  GTR510 [ Wed Jan 12, 2005 10:58 pm ]
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Got another one. NEVER LET YOUR WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND DO ANY WORK ON A CAR OTHER THAN CLEANING.

Got my wife a MGB cause she always wanted one (It's got an 180b sss L18 in it so it's 25% datsun) and the seats were loose and it won't pass rego. At the time I was doing a uni degree as well as work so I had no time to work on the car so she says I'll do the seats it can't be that hard. FATAL MISTAKE, it was too hard.

She managed to get them out OK (Don't even know why she took them out but anyway it's better not to ask). But that night at dinner she says. "oh I'm having some trouble with the bolts for the seats can you have a look" so I go in there and she has stripped every single nut (8 in total, 4 per seat). Now that normally wouldn't be that big of a deal but these nuts are welded to the body when the car was manufactured so to fix the problem I had to drill out all the threads and buy bigger bolts and separate nuts which still didn't fit.

Oh, the pain of it all. Eventually it's all white noise, blah, blah, blah, blah
Author:  Neil [ Thu Jan 13, 2005 8:13 am ]
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On the wife theme .... we had a car with silver metallic paint at one stage. After a car-park incident we were left with one of those rubber bumper smears on the bodywork. It didn't bother me that much, but one day I looked at the car and it had gone .... there was a big ugly stripe of damaged paint there instead. My wife had scoured the whole thing off with a 'brillo pad' or whatever those things are called.... :evil: :evil:

She did the same thing to our whiteboard in the kitchen, now it doesn't work like a whiteboard any more, there are indelible messages on it from about 3 years ago..... :? (You may reasonably ask why I havn't chucked it away yet. I don't know.)
Author:  DRracing [ Thu Jan 13, 2005 4:05 pm ]
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Hmmm women and cars hey.

Missus gets home from work 'tother day complainig that her car smells like burning oil, "okay pop the bonnet and lets have a look" says I> She pulls the lever and i stick my hand under the bonnet to lift it up and whats this, pull my hand away covered in oil, uh oh :( , lift bonnet to see oil EVERYWHERE, due to there not being an oil filler cap in the rocker cover. Sh!t Sh!t Sh!t, where is it? How did it come off? AHHHH thre it is, sitting on the battery. Honey have you checked the oil lately?
Yes why?
because you didn't put the filler cap back on.
Yes i did
No you didn't
YES I DID :x
Okay how did it end up on the battery then, and how did all this oil end up all over the engine bay that i had to use 2 cans of degreaser to get it off then? HUH? HUH?
I don't know but it wasn't me.
Give up about know because at some stage I'm gonna want some luvin and if I had continued along these lines it would have been a long time coming, lol.

As a quick aside, chick comes to my brothers house a few years ago saying her cars making a funny noise and has lost power. Have you checked the oil and water lately? No why? Brother checks both and finds none, how the engine was still running is a mystery too this day :shock:
Author:  Burnt16 [ Thu Jan 13, 2005 5:11 pm ]
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well well
when i blew the L20 in my 1600 we started pulling it out
undid everything i unbolted the gearbox ok then lets pull her out
hmm bit tight pull pull pull wont come off the box get it out enough to
wedge a large steel poll in there and pull pull with my brother hangin off this poll... look around for anything still holding it cant see anything pull pull some more tryed lifting it with the hoist finally give up
go back out the following night get under the car oops left a gearbox bolt in quickly pull it out and get brother hey lets try again .... ah sweet easy as
didnt tell him tho :wink:
Author:  proL18 [ Thu Jan 13, 2005 6:09 pm ]
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pro240c wrote:
well, stupid confessions aside - i have a different confession.

my next project is looking more and more like an HQ Kingswood - and i can't stop myself.

sorry :cry:
scrap that.

mint condition FC (sedan or wagon) :D
Author:  Dave [ Thu Jan 13, 2005 10:16 pm ]
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If we're going to start wife-bashing (perhaps I should re-phrase that - telling stories about the wife).

Mine had an old KB Laser which she would periodically tell me needed more oil. I'd go and check it and sure enough could never find any oil on the dipstick so I'd pour in a litre or so. Even so, I was pleased that she was checking it, even if not too frequently, as her previous corolla had died a sad death from neglect.

After this happened quite a few times over a couple of months, I asked why she didn't top it up herself. Seeing as she was opening the bonnet and pulling the dipstick, wasn't much more work.

The reply was "I don't check it that way - I just wait till the red light in the dash comes on to tell me" :roll:

That one died a while later too..........
Author:  Lemming Squasher [ Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:11 pm ]
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My old Brown Wagon was a lot like that... It was advertised with a blown motor, but heaps of rego. I went and had a look at it, and it was running like s$%t - kinda like a badly blown head gasket, but without the signs of a blown head gasket.

Took it for a wheezing, coughing test drive, and then checked the oil for water (figuring maybe something was weird WRT getting hot, opening up the leak or something). The oil was WAAAAY over-full. No oil, not fuel in there, just way too much oil.

I bought it, took it home and drained 7 or 8 litres from it (which brought the oil level back to a sensible level) and it ran perfectly... I'm guessing the previous owner had been told something like "any time you see the oil light come on, put some more oil into it", and that they'd taken it literally - which means including everytime the engine was started...

I know this sounds like one of those urban myths, but both DAZDA and Ballast can confirm it!


Was speaking to the guy who bought my old rally car yesterday. He drained the gearbox oil, and was thinknig "Jeez, that's pretty clean, seeing as it's done... ZERO rallies"... He'd changed it before the last event of last year, which got called off... So he effectively dumped a full gearbox worth of oil that had done a grand total of 20kms at gentle road speed. :)
Author:  Chris G [ Mon Jan 17, 2005 4:03 pm ]
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I'd believe it... :D

In the dim, dark prehistoric days when dinosaurs ruled the planet and I had just got my 'L' plates, I made a similar F&@#up. :roll:

Knowing as much about cars as I did about girls, I'd assumed that the lil' XXXXX marks on the dipstick of Mum's Honda Civic indicated how many litres of oil I had to add. :shock:

So I merrily added 5 litres of oil, into an engine that already had 5 litres of oil in it. Then tried to start it. Engine wouldn't turn over. :oops:

So reaching for the envelope marked plan 'B', I tried to undo the drain plug with my patented Seldom-Grip adjustable spanner - and thus discovering the precise method of machining a hexagon into a perfect circle by hand. :oops:

Realising that the Great Gods of Motoring were displeased, I pushed the car down to the local servo, where I begged the mechanic for help. Since he needed a laugh, he agreed and taught me all about Vise-Grips and mis-applied force. :)

The oil nicely drained, and back to normal levels, I meekishly drove the car home. And although I think I know a thing or two about cars these days, I still know nothing about Women. :wink:

Cheers,
Author:  dattoboy [ Tue Jan 18, 2005 8:10 pm ]
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forgive me father as you are going to laugh when you here this...........!
it was mid-afternoon as i was stripping a 1600, out comes the dash and everything underneath it. It was the moment of when i had to remove the pedal cluster.................., i tried to crack the nut at the top, arrrrggggh i didnt have enough strength to crack the damn thing, so back into the toolbox to get the biggest breaker bar and socket to fit, to crack it! 15mins later still wouldnt go!!!!! thats it! off to the professional! "Baz have a look at this nut! i cant get the f*#ken thing undone". he looked, laughed, and the reply was..... "you F*#KEN GOOSE, that nut your trying to undo is WELDED!" :oops: i then found out the bolt was underneath the nut. Another quick confession! The endless times i have gone to weld somthing up and i have messed about and forgot the EARTH!!!!!! :cry: cam
Author:  zac510 [ Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:47 pm ]
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I've got a new one..
When you are welding or angle grinding in the shed and need to cool down the object quickly, don't take it outside to a tap or bucket of water... just spit on it! boiling saliva fuckin' stinks!!!
Author:  fr3ak [ Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:12 pm ]
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^^^
Most boiling bodily fluids do!
Author:  am3037 [ Fri Jan 21, 2005 4:05 pm ]
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yeah....the old stool on the public bbq........nasty neighbourhood smog (bog)
Author:  RobH [ Fri Jan 21, 2005 9:44 pm ]
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am3037 wrote:
yeah....the old stool on the public bbq........nasty neighbourhood smog (bog)
ewwwww... is that a confession?
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